The Problem With Life Is That They Don’t Give You An End Date

“Life is all about choices,” she said.

“Yes, I’ve heard it before. I know the saying. But does that mean it’s actually true? I mean: people say a lot of things. Mostly bullshit.”

“Why do you always have to question everything?”

“Because I’m not dead yet.”

“Seriously Filip, I give up.”

You gave up a long time ago, honey. (Tell me something I don’t know.) 

The truth is she looks great

“I see you have a new haircut. You look beautiful. Very pretty. Not practical though.”

“Aha, you noticed. Thanks. I felt like something new for Christmas.”

“Christmas is more than a month away,” I said.

“What do you mean ‘not practical’?”

“Well, it’s too short. How on earth am I going to be able to pull your hair when I’m fucking you doggy style? Stop taking pleasures away from me. Christmas is supposed to be about giving.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

Stop calling me that, woman . I don’t tell you every 5 seconds you’re a bitch, do I?

“Am I?”

Back to my dilemma

“You see the thing is, ” I tried to explain, “imagine I will die December 25th this year. That would mean doing the smart thing instead of doing what I really want, would turn out to be really stupid.”

“You’re not going to die on December 25th. So it’s simple: you choose the smart thing. You do the right thing.”

“So basically when you tell me ‘life is all about choices’ you mean I have no choice?”

“I don’t understand you.”

Damn right you don’t understand me, bitch.

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