Positive People Depress Me

Early in the morning and I already was having a bad day. (Shit happens in Bucharest.)

The subway was way too crowded. Too much cattle gone wild, too many ants. Despite the chaos I managed to get on the right metro train. Miracles do happen.

I kept silent. Nothing left to say. I only like to talk to people when I’m not in pain. It doesn’t happen often anymore though. Lately all I seem to be doing is swearing.

Last week somebody had told me that not so long ago the upper class in Romania used to speak French. Aha. Needless to say I switched from ‘fuck you’ and ‘piss off’ to ‘va te faire enculer’ and other nice sayings.

Good people slay you with the truth

It took me a while before I noticed this young woman who was trying to catch my attention.

“Do you want to sit down, sir?” she asked me in Romanian. (I’m starting to pick up the language. Well let’s say the meaning of a message. Subconsciously that is. Because I’m not making any effort what so ever.)

“No thank you,” I replied with a fake smile. How rude! Are you fucking calling me old, bitch?

I was devastated, completely in shock.

Late arrival at the office

“What are you doing here so early?” I asked the Assistant Manager.

“I’m not early,” she replied, “I am always here at the same time.”

“Yes, of course you are. We all can set our clock on it.” You must be a machine, some freaky robot. You’re definitely not cursed with a private life.

“Just one question, ” I continued, ” are you a religious person?”

“Yes, why?”

“No reason. I was just wondering.”

Great. If you don’t shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone I’m gonna put a bullet between your eyes and you will go straight to heaven. How’s that for a positive fact, woman?

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