I Guess Only The Lonely Know Why I Finally Crashed

– So what exactly am I doing here? I asked the shrink. I mean: if you put it like that…

– It’s not because your behavior is normal, she replied, society knows how to deal with it.

– Shouldn’t society be here then, instead of me? I mean…

– Anyways, how are you?

– Much better. But don’t praise yourself. Just a few days staying away from the TV news and those news feeds on social media did miracles for my mental health, as you tend to call it. By the way,  your lipstick is way too red. Okay, it works for some women but trust me, not for you. You look as if you have just been punched by Sylvester Stallone. And another thing: you should work on your dress code. I find it very hard to focus with all that human flesh flashing in my eyes. The only thing I am aware of is your ass, tits and legs.

All of a sudden she didn’t seem to be so thrilled anymore about me being honest and straight forward.

– I am afraid we are going to need a few more sessions, she said.

-Now what a surprise. Seriously, I do understand you want to see me again. Shall we wrap this up (for now) so you can go for a smoke? I replied.

-Who says I smoke? she tried.

-I just did. You try to hide it (God knows why) with your chewing gum and your cheap perfume. Actually, good thing I’m not eating or drinking. I hate it when people ruin the balance of my food or beer with their disgusting smell. Which reminds me to stop at the supermarket on my way back. Need some deodorant. (To spray in your face.)

-Okay, that will do, she said, I will see you next Wednesday at the same time.

-Sweet. ‘Cause I’m dying for a drink.

-Aah, I don’t think that’s a good idea.

-Really, I replied, and what are you going to do about it, woman? Follow me?

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